December 13

Passive Pleasure or Active Engagement: The Difference Between a Pleasant and Good Life

A few hobbies consume nearly all of my free time—writing, playing an instrument, and running. At best, I’m average at all of them. Yet, as another year draws to a close, I feel like I need to confront the one question that has been gnawing at me for as long as I can remember: why should I continue to keep writing, playing music, or run when there are so many people out there who are far more talented and adept at these things?

"Wouldn’t it be easier to quit trying altogether and simply enjoy the work of those who’ve mastered their crafts? It certainly seems like a far more pleasurable—and far less frustrating—way to live.

Serendipitously, I stumbled upon my answer in an unlikely place: a spiritual podcast.

As it turns out, I’m not the first to wonder why anyone who isn’t “the best” should bother playing sports or engaging in creative pursuits. Philosophers and psychologists have pondered this very question and even gone so far as to call it meaningful. My ego appreciates that—at least I know how to ask good questions!

Jokes aside, their insights are surprisingly encouraging for those of us who proudly (or reluctantly) embody the word average."

The Joy of Engagement over Passive Pleasure

Happiness is the highest good, and it is achieved through virtuous activity, not idle enjoyment.

— Aristotle (from Nicomachean Ethics) argued that happiness (eudaimonia) comes from actively pursuing excellence, virtue, and purpose—not mere comfort or indulgence.

In recent times, American psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the strongest proponents of positive psychology theories, has had much to say about what makes us happy.

In his framework on happiness, Seligman classified three types of living:

The Pleasant Life

"The Pleasant Life is one where we focus on maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. It’s the one we’re most familiar with—hours spent binge-watching Game of Thrones, endlessly scrolling through reels on our phones, or devouring chocolate like cacao plants are on the brink of extinction.

But the pleasant life is often short-lived, thanks to something we humans have evolved to do exceptionally well: hedonic adaptation. We acclimate to pleasure quickly, but it leaves us stuck on the “hedonic treadmill.” Soon, we find ourselves constantly chasing bigger or better highs just to feel the same level of happiness.

Passive pleasures—like binge-watching a series or spectating sports—deliver quick, immediate rewards, but their effects tend to fade just as quickly.

The Good Life

Also referred to as the Engaged Life, this is the kind of life where we immerse ourselves in action and, if we’re lucky, tap into the elusive “flow” state.

All creative pursuits, playing sports, or hobbies involving a problem-solving component fall under the gamut of the engaged life.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who coined the term flow, describes it as that magical moment when you’re fully absorbed in an activity—whether writing a song, playing a game, or crafting a story—right at the edge of your abilities. In that moment, you lose track of time and even yourself. You’re not “average”; you’re alive.

As Csikszentmihalyi puts it:

Flow is the secret to happiness. It does not matter what you do, but how you do it.

And there it was—the answer I’d been searching for. I may never write a bestseller or release a critically acclaimed album, but the simple act of creating brings a kind of joy and satisfaction that passive pleasures can’t compete with.  Unlike those fleeting highs, flow experiences lead to far more fulfillment than external rewards ever could.

But wait—there’s more. As powerful as the flow state is, there’s something even more remarkable that experts agree we should aspire to.

The Meaningful Life

Deep, long-term happiness and satisfaction, however, can only come when we have a sense of purpose and contribute to something bigger than ourselves. It’s about linking personal fulfillment to an unselfish purpose—something that extends beyond us.

The good news is that it’s not all doom and gloom.

Seligman emphasized that the three types of lives described here are not mutually exclusive. For a fulfilling life, he proposed that we should strive to incorporate all three:

  1. Experience pleasure (The Pleasant Life),
  2. Find engagement and flow (The Good Life) and
  3. Pursue meaning and purpose (The Meaningful Life).

Takeaways

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

The answer to whether to create or consume is pretty straightforward. We all have unique "voices" and perspectives, and as long as we don't rely on ChatGPT to do our thinking, we contribute to the diversity of thought and opinions in the world. And that matters.

Passive consumption—listening to music, reading books, watching sports—has its place. It’s inspiring, entertaining, and comforting. But it’s not enough for a significant life. As humans, we’re wired to be makers, not just consumers. Creating gives us purpose, meaning, and connection.

The world would be emptier and quieter if everyone who was not the “very best” quit. Every creative act—even an imperfect one—has the power to inspire someone else.

And, of course, all motivational speakers will tell you that everyone was a beginner at some point—even Van Gogh and Bob Dylan.

TL;DR: Get out there and create!

Far better it is to dare mighty things than to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt

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