If you asked me what I like to do to unwind, I wouldn’t hesitate to rattle off a list: run, read, write, play my instrument, and cook (sometimes). Every single one of these is something I voluntarily do—something I wouldn’t hesitate to say I “enjoy” doing.
And yet, for a couple of weeks, I couldn’t bring myself to do any of them. Nada. Zip.
True, it was spring break, and our daughter was home from college. But was that really the reason? Or was something else at play?
It is a cruel irony that sometimes the very activities that relieve our stress and bring us joy can start to feel overwhelming, even like a chore.
Why Do We Sometimes Dread Doing the Things We Love to Do?
Surprisingly, it’s not uncommon to lose interest in a favorite hobby. Curious to find out why, I dug in and uncovered the reasons experts say hobbies can sometimes start to feel like work.
Hobbies Are Fun—Until They Become a Job
When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well. Steve Martin
Hobbies are meant to bring us joy, not pressure. The moment we start treating them like obligations—or worse, monetizing them—then it’s a matter of time before the fun part starts turning into something that resembles work.
It’s a slippery slope from “I love baking” to “I run a small batch, gluten-free, artisanal cupcake business and now spend my weekends knee-deep in batter and tax paperwork.”
Getting Good at Anything Takes Time
Let’s be honest—nobody wants to sound like a middle school band screeching through Hot Cross Buns. Most of us don’t enjoy things unless we’re at least half-decent at them. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule aside, it takes effort before we truly become proficient at anything. Even hobbies.
Much like dad jokes at a comedy club, the early stages of learning a hobby can be both demotivating and downright cringey. No matter what new hobby you pick up, the learning curve from awful to palatable can start to feel like work and put us squarely outside our comfort zone. Who wants to hang around and do things for fun when it’s deeply uncomfortable?
When we pick up hobbies for the wrong reason
I once read an article that suggested the best way for an overworked, burnt-out person to recover was to... schedule a weekly tennis session or volunteer in the community. Lofty? Yes. Effective? Not so much.
That’s like slapping a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound. Picking up a hobby purely as a coping mechanism to an overstressed life is only going to complicate matters. Sometimes, what you really need is rest, not another activity disguised as “relaxation.”
So, what can we do to keep loving the things we think we love?
How to Reset
Here are some suggestions that work well to stop our hobbies from feeling like work.
Beware of Shiny Object Syndrome
You know those people who dive headfirst into a new passion every other week? One day, they’re obsessed with World War II history. Next, they’re experimenting with molecular gastronomy. And by the weekend, they’re onto the next big thing.
Or how about serial dieters? Keto today, paleo tomorrow, juice cleanse by Friday. The problem? They never stick with anything long enough to enjoy real progress.
Constantly chasing the next new thing can be fun, but it rarely leads to lasting fulfillment. Sometimes, the trick is to sit with something long enough to fall back in love with it.
Take a break
It’s okay to step away from the things you love to do. Absence makes the heart grow fonder—or at least helps you figure out if you actually miss going to the book club meeting or crochet sessions.
Tell the perfectionist in you to take a hike
Life is messy. When we die, no one will care if we crossed every ‘t’ and dotted every ‘i.’ There will always be unfinished business. And that’s okay. There is no need to treat a hobby with deathly seriousness.
Give it time
Even the Beatles were once just four guys fumbling with chords in a dingy basement. Progress takes time, and that’s okay. No need to feel guilty for making your family listen to your off-key practice sessions.
Don’t pick a hobby to impress others
Do what makes you happy—otherwise, you’ll end up quiet-quitting your hobby. Even if no one else notices your progress (or lack thereof), a hobby should leave you feeling fulfilled.
Passive Activities Are Fine—To a Point
Yes, binge-watching every new show dropping on Netflix sounds comforting. But let’s be honest: Too much passive entertainment drains more energy than it gives. It’s a quick fix, not a real solution.
The Real Test: Would You Do It If No One Else Cared?
Some people collect stamps. I collect unfinished projects.
Would I still write if no one else ever read my words? There was a time when that question would have made me sad. But not anymore. It’s the old saying: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it never was.”
So yes, I’m happy I wrote this piece—even if no one else reads it. My soul feels fulfilled. And that, ultimately, is what every hobby is designed to do.