The options are limitless. But time isn’t. Choose wisely.
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.
The fig tree of life
Though a bit melancholic, Sylvia Plath's quote, like much of her writing, is wisdom personified.
While the possibilities may seem endless, time isn't. Every decision we make means leaving behind a thousand other options we did not choose.
Limitless choices With limited time
Life constantly presents us a dizzying array of choices—some momentous (marriage, children, career), others more trivial (should I write or play Sudoku?). Thanks to Time—the most limited of all resources, saying "yes" to one option is, in essence, a "no" to countless others.
To use Plath’s metaphor, we’re all standing beneath the fig tree of life, with so many tempting fruits hanging overhead. At best, we can only reach for a few.
The lesson here is twofold:
- The fruit we pick might not be the ripest or sweetest, but it's the one in our hand.
- The fruits we don’t pick wither and die. Having FOMO or spending time regretting the fruit we didn’t pick only takes away from savoring what's already in our hand.
Here are some ways to help us reconcile this quintessential paradox in life of limitless choices with limited time.
Indecision is still a decision
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore Roosevelt
We spend more time thinking about things to do instead of just going ahead and doing something.
Rather than debating whether to check emails, meditate, go for a run, or dive into that Netflix series that's calling our name, it's better to just pick one option and go for it.
Better to try and fail than to never try
I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done. Lucille Ball
There are fewer heartbreaking phrases in the English language than sentences that begin with “If only I had.”
Inaction guarantees failure. If you don't attempt, you're already defeated. Not taking the shot ensures that you'll never score, whether it's a career move, a creative endeavor, or a personal relationship.
The lesson we need to all imbibe is this: It’s better to try and fail rather than never try at all. Because. Carpe Diem.
Let go of FOMO
Research has shown that people go online to socially interact with one another (or lurk) more than they go online to shop, read, research, etc.
We live in a world of heightened comparisons, which makes us all the more susceptible to the “Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).”
Here’s the thing: it’s natural to get FOMO when we see all the other things we could be doing. We’re scrolling through social media, and someone’s climbing Machu Picchu, someone else is launching a business, and another person is mastering sourdough baking (again).
Meanwhile, we’re just trying to make it through the week.
By constantly worrying about all the figs we didn’t pick, we’re missing out on enjoying the one in our hand.
Own it
Choosing wisely isn’t about making the perfect decision every time. That’s impossible. The truth is it’s hard to know, in the moment, if the decision we’re making is the best one. What if the option we passed on was the thing that could’ve brought more joy or success into our life? We’ll never know.
Instead, it’s better to appreciate and be present in the choices we do make. If the decision is to spend the weekend recharging instead of being super productive, own it.
It’s better to commit fully to a project or a relationship, rather than wondering if something better is out there.
Finally
You can do anything, but not everything. David Allen
It’s difficult navigating our world of limitless choices with the limited time we all have on this earth. But we have the power to choose and savor the fruits we pick, knowing they may not always be perfect. Ultimately, no one else’s is either.