Procrastination gives you something to look forward to. Joan Konner
Every time I finish writing a post, I promise myself that next time I’ll get a head start. That, I’ll write the next piece in a couple of days. That, I’ll build up a solid backlog so I’m not sitting here at 8 p.m. on a Thursday wondering what to write about.
And yet—here we are. Again. It’s past 8 p.m. I’m sort of panicking. As if on cue, my daughter walks by my room. So, I do what any sensible, flailing writer does: I ask her for ideas.
She’s smart. Too smart, in fact. She knows exactly where this is headed—she’ll suggest something, I’ll poke holes in it, she’ll try again, I’ll push back. It’ll be an endless back-and-forth with no resolution, and really, what 18-year-old wants to be trapped in a conversation with their mom that shows no sign of abating?
So, she does what any wise Gen Z-er would do. She throws out the most 2025 answer of them all: “Ask ChatGPT.”
A clear sign of the times. We’ve officially moved on from ask Google, ask Siri, and are now deep into the ask AI era. It’s why OpenAI's founder is apparently busy fending off $100 million offers from Meta to poach his employees.
But I digress.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. And since my brain (and I guess most people’s brains) doesn’t think very clearly under pressure, I cave. I ask ChatGPT what I should write about.
The responses are lame. Some have latent potential, I guess, but honestly, I can’t bring myself to write about these, let alone subject you to reading my takes on the following:
- How to Have a Midlife Crisis Without Buying a Sports Car
- You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Feeling
- Why I Continue to Hit “Remind Me Tomorrow” on Software Updates for Eternity
But, somehow, through this process of panic and frustration, an idea seems to take shape in my brain. Thank goodness!
I’ve decided to write about the issue that vexes me the most at the moment—why we often leave things to the last minute and why we struggle to be proactive.
As my panicked brain starts to relax, it dawns on me that there’s a very commonly used English word for this phenomenon: procrastination. And that I’ve written about this very subject already here and here.
Still, good things bear repeating, because believe it or not, I have some new insights.
We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead, we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.” Steven Pressfield.
Most of us don’t procrastinate over small, easy tasks. We can bring ourselves to deal with the low-hanging fruit—laundry, dishes, emails, paying bills, etc., or functions that carry the weight of external accountability (showing up to work, taking the trash out before it starts smelling).
And then there are activities we rarely ever put off. Scrolling on our phones. Watching “just one more” episode. Anything that offers instant gratification.
Which leaves us with the things we hem and haw over. They have one underlying theme—they have the potential to be difficult, either physically (exercise), cognitively (creative projects), or emotionally (scheduling a check-up for a dental filling).
According to researchers Dr. Timothy Pychyl and Dr. Fuschia Sirois—two of the leading voices on procrastination— “Choosing to voluntarily delay an intended course of action despite expecting to be worse off for the delay reflects a basic breakdown in our self-regulation.”
Translation: Procrastination is less about time management and more about emotion management.
In their studies, they concluded:
Procrastination has a great deal to do with short-term mood repair and emotion regulation.
So, it’s not that we’re lazy or disorganized. It’s that we’re trying to avoid unpleasant sensations—boredom, frustration, fear of failure. Unfortunately, the relief we get from putting something off feels good in the moment, but it often comes at a cost.
So, what can we do? We have two options.
- Keep fighting our nature. Force ourselves through tasks like Sisyphus, pushing our to-do list up the hill, only to watch it roll right back down.
- Accept that we’ve evolved to conserve our energies (be lazy) unless our survival depends on it, and motivate ourselves through rewards to do hard things.
From experience, I know that the second option—bookending a challenging task (writing) with something pleasant (reel-scrolling)—is more palatable and has a better chance of working.
So, that’s the lesson: Pair the aversive with the enjoyable.
It’s not rocket science.
Treat yourself to a good nap after a challenging workout.
Curl up with a good book after a whole day of pulling weeds.
Schedule a visit to the nail salon with your friends after you’ve had that difficult call with your sister-in-law.
Unfortunately, as adults, no one’s handing out gold stars for good behavior or popsicle treats for turning in our homework on time. We have to do that for ourselves now. And honestly? What’s wrong with that?
My biggest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell my unfinished projects for what I told her I paid for them. Anonymous.