You can’t pay back, so you might as well pay it forward. Catherine Ryan Hyde
Catherine Ryan Hide’s book Pay it Forward is the story of a twelve-year-old, Trevor. Inspired by a school assignment to develop an idea to improve the world, Trevor decides to be kind to three strangers and then asks each of them to “pay it forward” by performing random acts of kindness that would impact three other people. Consequently, thanks to the ripple effect, the world is overrun by tremendous goodwill.
Sure, the skeptic in us probably finds the story and the whole concept gimmicky. In an era of information overload and pervasive social media brimming with negativity, it's easy to lose faith in human nature. This is precisely why it's crucial for us to make intentional choices to restore our confidence in our ability to function as a community.
One way to make that happen is to start with random or intentional acts of kindness. Maybe that’s why the pay-it-forward concept has gained so much attention and traction in recent years.
In 2012, the NY Times reported a story of a customer in Manitoba who paid not just for her coffee but also for the person behind her in line. Two hundred and twenty-six customers in a row continued to do the same. The first person's generosity was contagious, and strangers were eager to help.
A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.
The pay-it-forward philosophy is simple.
When you receive a good deed, instead of thanking or paying back your benefactor, you do a good deed for someone else.
Keeping the chain alive can have a domino effect of the very best kind. The authors of a Cornell University study concluded that while simply observing an act of kindness can set a “cascade of generosity in motion,” receiving help can sustain and keep spreading kindness.
While giving kindness is innately gratifying, there are actually enough selfish reasons to open up our hearts and resources.
In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. Flora Edwards.
The sentiment expressed in the above quote aligns with many philosophical, spiritual, and moral teachings that emphasize the interconnectedness of human actions and the positive repercussions of kindness and generosity.
The concept of Karma –in Hinduism and Buddhism, for example, suggests that what goes around comes around: good deeds lead to positive outcomes for the doer, while negative actions result in adverse consequences. Western religions emphasize the concept, “Do unto others what you’d expect others to do unto you.”
The point is this: even if you don’t feel like Mother Teresa, do something good for someone else because, ultimately, it’ll make you happier.
In a meta-study, researchers found that giving good advice helped those who gave it more than those who received it. When overweight people advised others on weight loss, they were more motivated to lose weight themselves. Students who counseled other students spent more time on their own homework.
Similarly, bestowing kindness on others will make us want to be kinder to ourselves. That alone is enough reason to practice kindness, as we are often our own harshest critics.
It is not difficult to find ways to be kind. The simplest things, such as letting a car pass you or even letting someone go ahead of you in line, barely take any effort, yet the rewards are immeasurable and often underrated. And, as a side note, while it may be tempting to pay forward on the Starbucks line, apparently, baristas aren't great fans because of the accounting and logistical difficulties pay it forward lines often create.
So, let's get creative in finding ways to help those around us—that might be the best way to help ourselves.
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else—Chinese Proverb.