He who is unaffected by praise or blame, and neither laments nor desires, has equanimity and is fit for immortality. Buddha
This, too, shall pass
According to legend, King Solomon struggled with a problem that is all too familiar to most of us. He sought a way to control his emotions instead of having them control him. To this end, he asked a jeweler to create a ring to help him keep his cool in good and bad times. The jeweler crafted a ring with the inscription, “This too shall pass.”
Whenever Solomon felt overwhelmed by joy or despair, he looked at the ring and reminded himself that both happiness and sorrow were temporary.
While we may not have personal jewelers who can create rings with custom inscriptions for every one of our problems, the message “This too shall pass” embodies the essence of Equanimity and is perhaps the most valuable piece of advice we can get.
What is Equanimity?
Equanimity is the mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in difficult situations. It’s not about suppressing emotions or detaching from life’s experiences—stuff that will land you on the therapist’s couch soon. Instead, equanimity is about cultivating a profound inner balance to navigate life’s highs and lows with grace and a sense of perspective.
Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so, the wise are not affected by praise or blame. Dhammapada 83:
Equanimity has been a central theme in various spiritual traditions.
In Buddhism, the Pali term for equanimity is Upekkha—a state of even-mindedness that arises from seeing the impermanence and interconnectedness of all things. Upekkha helps practitioners maintain balance in the face of life’s fluctuations.
In Hindu philosophy, equanimity is often referred to as Samatvam—the state of being balanced and maintaining an even mind, free from excessive emotional responses to success and failure, pleasure and pain.
Of course, if there were ever a competition for things that sound easy but are the most challenging to actually practice, Samatvam would likely be a top contender for Olympic Gold.
So, how do we get started on the journey towards Samatvam?
Cultivating Equanimity
Equanimity doesn’t mean indifference or a lack of passion. Instead, it is the ability to engage fully with life while maintaining a centered and calm mind.
To get started on the Equanimity journey, it’s helpful to understand two key concepts of ancient Hindu and Buddhist philosophy—Raga and Dvesa. They are two sides of the same coin; they refer to the psychological forces of attachment and aversion, respectively. The interplay of these two forces shapes human behavior and experience for the most part and, therefore, not surprisingly, is often the leading cause of our anguish and misery.
Raga
Raga is our attachment to desirable experiences, things, or people. It causes us to seek situations—fancy cars, wealth, gastronomic delights, etc. that we think will make us happy. In the process, though, we create a dependency on external forces for our happiness. And we know all how that movie ends: often in anxiety, restlessness, and disappointment.
Dvesa
As you probably guessed, Dvesa is the polar opposite of Raga—aversion and dislike to things, people, and experiences. We tend to push away what we find uncomfortable or threatening. The result? Anger, fear, and conflict.
At a fundamental level, all we do every day is strengthen our ragas and visas. Our lives are nothing more than a constant interplay of these dual forces of attraction and repulsion. We either hanker and crave desirable experiences or drive ourselves insane trying to avoid the unpleasant. Consequently, we are constantly agitated by the reactive mind and are in situations that are the opposite of equanimity.
So, how do we start cultivating equanimity? With baby steps…
Baby steps to equanimity
Here are some baby steps to cultivate equanimity.
Cue the Meditation Mat
You cannot fix a problem you are not aware of.
Mindfulness Practice is the foundation of equanimity. By practicing mindfulness, we can train our minds to observe the arising of raga and dveṣa without reacting to them. It helps to observe our thoughts and emotions without getting entangled in them.
Focus on the journey, not the destination
Attaching our happiness to results can only lead to frustration, anxiety, and often disappointment. Telling ourselves we have no control over the outcomes and detaching from results is the best way to cultivate equanimity and find contentment in the journey itself. Starting small is the key.
Taking Perspective
Expanding our perspective and recognizing the transient nature of most events can help center us. For instance, applying the five-year test (“Will this matter to me five years from today?”) is a great way to see the bigger picture and stop panicking.
In Short
If you identify as a human, you know how easy it is to get caught in a whirlwind of emotions. We’re bombarded by endless streams of information, opinions, and emotions—both from within ourselves and from others. Amidst this, the ability to maintain a balanced state of mind, regardless of external circumstances, is a precious skill. The best thing about equanimity is that it acts as a stabilizing force, allowing us to respond rather than react.
Incorporating equanimity into daily life is a gradual process requiring patience, practice, and persistence. Simply starting small and eliminating a dvesa or two a day may be all we can manage initially. But it’s a great start, nevertheless. As they say, the only way is through.
You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius