One of the most quoted (and, if I may, cliched) references in time management and productivity is the Big Rocks, Pebbles, Sand, and Water analogy. The metaphor originates from a technique often attributed to productivity guru Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
The story goes like this: A professor stands before a class with a large glass jar and tasks the students to fill it with a list of items: a few large rocks, lots of pebbles, some sand, and a jug of water. The unwitting students first attempt to fill the jar with sand, water, and pebbles, after which they struggle to fit in the large rocks.
The professor then demonstrates the right way: filling the jar with big rocks until no more can fit. He then asks the class if the jar is full. Most will say yes. Then, the professor adds smaller pebbles, which fill the spaces between the big rocks, and asks the class again if the jar is full. The students hesitantly agree, sensing they are being tricked but not sure how. At this point, the professor adds sand to fill the even smaller spaces between the pebbles. And finally, he pours water to fill in the remaining gaps.
The point of the Big Rocks, Pebbles, Sand, and Water story is to illustrate how to manage time effectively.
The big rocks are meant to represent our most important tasks or goals. They are the things that matter most to us—personal values, major projects, and key responsibilities. The little rocks or pebbles are important but less critical tasks. The sand is all the trivial stuff and minor chores we find ourselves doing throughout the day that don’t add much meaning to our lives. And the water is sometimes used to show how even when the jar seems full, we can always stuff a little more in terms of activities and tasks.
Using the Big Rocks, pebbles, sand, and water metaphor, time management and productivity experts are quick to point out the number one reason most of us are overwhelmed and caught up in the busyness epidemic—we are going about our days all wrong.
Instead of tackling the big rocks, which, let’s be honest, seem daunting, we often fill our days dealing with the sand and the pebbles of our lives. Quantity-wise, we win, but qualitatively, the valuable big rocks languish on the sides, not getting the attention they deserve.
Twenty years ago, when I first heard of the big rocks, pebbles, sand, and water analogy, I was ecstatic—and that’s an understatement. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. All I saw were possibilities: if I could manage my time right and stay focused on the big rocks, I could, in theory, do all the things that appealed to the then-young adult in me: become CEO, raise a wonderful family, solve world hunger (or at least help the cause), compete athletically, write books, and have an enviable social life.
Decades later, tempered by healthy doses of reality checks along the way and the wisdom that comes from knowing my birthday cake probably has fewer calories than the number of candles on it, I have come to this more nuanced understanding of the big rocks, pebbles, sand, and water analogy.
Without a doubt, the way to fill the glass jars is to first fit in the big rocks of our lives. The truth is undeniable: if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in.
However, time management experts conveniently ignore or fail to mention one obvious fact: the glass jar is never big enough to fit all the big rocks.
Whether it’s a blatant disregard for the Federal Trade Commission’s Truth in Advertising guidelines or simply because it’s too gloomy to acknowledge, most productivity gurus conveniently sidestep the fact that many of us have big rocks (dreams and goals) that just won’t squeeze into our short human lifespans. Add to this the fact that whether we like it or not, there will be pebbles and sand in our lives we have no choice but to deal with (work for pay, do chores, tend to our plants and pets, etc.)
Here's an anecdote Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert shared with her followers on social media.
Long ago, when I was struggling to become a writer, a wise older woman once said to me, "What are you willing to give up, in order to have the life you keep saying you want?"
I said, "You're right — I really need to start learning how to say no to things I don't want to do."
She corrected me: "No, it's much harder than that. You need to learn how to start saying no to things you DO want to do, with the recognition that you have only one life, and you don't have time and energy for everything."
The NY Times bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by one of my favorite contemporary writers, Oliver Burkeman, is devoted to this very subject. Life is short, and there’s always too much to do, so what can we do to make ourselves feel accomplished yet happy?
The secret isn’t just in limiting the quantity of pebbles and sand you fill your days with but in learning to let go of some big rocks. I can either lament how busywork engulfs all my waking hours and how I cannot stop time, or I can make peace with reality and myself.
It’s not about having it all; it's about being happy with all that we have. If that seems too philosophical, I’ll leave you with this old-time management nugget that never fails,
A hanging in a fortnight focuses the mind wonderfully.