The all-or-nothing mindset is the equivalent of saying, ‘If I can’t win, I’m just going to take my ball and go home.
Okay, so you took the advice to set SMART goals and got very specific. You commit to running 3 miles a day, 5 days a week, strength training for 20 minutes on alternate days, eating a salad five times a week, meditating daily for 20 minutes, and—because why not—taking French lessons twice a week.
These are undoubtedly impressive, wonderful, achievable, and life-changing goals.
But then, two weeks into the program, life happens. A family member gets sick, or a never-ending, time-consuming project lands at work. Suddenly, your carefully planned life-improvement schedule seems impossible because, hello, there still are only 24 hours in a day.
And since you don’t have the time to go out on a 3-mile run, you plop onto the couch and doomscroll through your phone because your brain says, “What’s the point of exercise if you can’t do the whole thing?”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing: this all-or-nothing mentality is a trap. And for many of us, it’s the biggest reason we fall off the wagon.
Why 10 Minutes Is Better Than None: The Case for Small Steps
We undervalue small efforts, thinking they don’t count.
Let’s say you plan to work out for 45 minutes but only have 15 minutes. Most of us tend to skip the workout entirely because it doesn’t fit into our “plan.” It’s all-or-nothing.
But the truth is, every little bit adds up.
But before we delve deeper into long-term progress, let’s talk about how we often sabotage ourselves from the start. Too often, we plant landmines in our own backyard—setting ourselves up for failure—by making plans that are too rigid and overly optimistic. This is especially true when it comes to self-improvement: We plan with rose-colored glasses, conveniently ignoring reality.
Psychologists have a more official-sounding term for this: Planning Fallacy.
The Planning Fallacy
Coined by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, the planning fallacy is a cognitive bias that refers to our tendency to underestimate the time, effort, or resources required to complete a task because we often focus on best-case scenarios while ignoring potential obstacles, leading to overly optimistic timelines.
There are two key features of the Planning Fallacy
- Optimism bias, a belief that everything will go smoothly
- Our tendency to ignore past data because we somehow believe “this time will be different.”
A classic example of the Planning Fallacy is my (somewhat past) behavior of perpetual tardiness. Even though my average commute to work takes about 25 minutes, I often dawdle around and leave late—just because there was one time (probably a federal holiday) when the roads were empty, and I miraculously managed to get to work in a record 12 minutes. But rather than plan my daily commute realistically, I’d latch onto that rare exception, setting myself up for rushed mornings and unnecessary stress.
So, before you give up your dream of launching your show-dog handling business or becoming a French interpreter at the UN, give yourself some grace by setting a realistic timeframe for it to happen.
Getting out of the All-or-nothing mindset
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt
Someone much cleverer than me (Tony Robbins, Bill Gates, or Joe Schmo, depending on the mood the internet is in when you ask) said it very succinctly:
We Overestimate What Can Be Done in a Day and Underestimate What Can Be Done in a Decade.
The lesson is to shift our focus from short-term wins to the bigger picture. The mantra to remember here is Progress, Not Perfection. Write it down, frame it on the wall, tattoo it on your arm if you have to, or repeat it a hundred times a day—just make sure it sticks.
Remembering that we are chasing progress and not perfection is the key to whether that book (or any goal) actually happens or stays stuck in the land of what could have been.
Here are some strategies to shift away from the all-or-nothing mindset to keep moving forward when life throws you a curveball.
Embrace Flexibility
Life rarely goes according to plan, so why do we expect our routines to? When you embrace flexibility, you permit yourself to adjust instead of giving up entirely.
Can’t run 3 miles? Run 1. Can’t meditate for 20 minutes? Try 5.
Try Habit Stacking
Pair your shorter workout with something you already do, like squats during commercials or stretching while waiting for the coffee to brew. Every little bit counts.
Remember the magic of compounding
Small efforts repeated consistently over time create exponential results. Time is the very essence of the power of compounding. Don’t expect miracles in a few days.
Keep the Momentum
When you do even a fraction of what you planned, you’re still building the habit. So, the next time life tries to derail your plans, remember: a little effort still moves you forward. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, a quick set of push-ups, or a single page in a book, it all counts.
Finally
Remember, Life is a Marathon, not a Sprint. Slow progress is still progress.
So, when life interrupts your perfectly crafted plan, take a deep breath and do what you can. A 10-minute workout today is better than a perfect one tomorrow. And who knows? You might just surprise yourself with how much you can accomplish when you stop waiting for the “perfect moment.”