’Tis the season of lists. Beyond the usual Top Ten books, movies, fashion moments, and travel adventures of the year, I’ve seen more unusual roundups, such as the strangest news stories and the cringiest pop-culture moments. Here’s my not-so-sensational contribution to the world of lists: five insights gleaned from books and life I intend to take more seriously in the coming year.
Life happens while we’re busy making plans
As I write this, my daughter had all four of her wisdom teeth extracted a few days ago—a painful rite of passage for American teens, and a practice much of the rest of the world still considers ‘overtreatment.’ In the days leading up to and following the procedure, I’ve spent so much time planning—activities, diets, pain-management strategies—that I forgot to notice the small wins along the way.
In a sense, I put life “on hold” until five days post-surgery. But isn’t life what happens in those in-between moments, too? Shouldn’t I be appreciating the long naps and the applesauce-and-chocolate-milk diet that unexpectedly transport me back to when she was an infant?
The point is this: every day, regardless of whether we’re in the middle of something challenging or enjoyable, is life. Not what happens afterward. Not what happens when. It is a lesson that seems to repeat itself ad nauseam, though I’ve yet to absorb the inherent wisdom in the truth fully.
Notice the What-ifs and What Will
“Stay in the moment” is good advice, but what works better for me is catching myself in a what-if or what will spiral.
Here’s an example: I need to be somewhere in a couple of hours, and realistically, won’t have time to get much writing done before I want this post to go up. As deadlines tend to trigger self-loathing, I’ve already had a few self-forehead-slapping thoughts along the lines of, “What if I’d written this earlier instead of scrolling through AI-generated cute-dog reels?” The What-if doesn’t change anything, though. Except now I’ve wasted even more time thinking about wasted time.
The real cue, I’m learning, is noticing when my mind slips into the past or into a future filled with what-ifs and what-will-happen-if-I-don’t. Sometimes those questions matter, and the consequences can be real. But more often, they hijack the present moment and quietly paralyze it.
Overestimating abilities and underestimating effort
It’s a habit I can’t (won’t) let go of—starting my day with a long to-do list. I should rename it my to-do wish list rather than a task list. I rarely achieve a 100% completion rate on my lists.
The reasons are two-fold, actually two sides of the same coin: I tend to overestimate my own (and other people’s) capacity while underestimating the time and effort required to get things done. I’m finally learning to make peace with unchecked tasks at the end of the day. So far, the world hasn’t stopped.
What are you waiting for?
I’ve had my fair share of wake-up calls in life. That said, maybe because of my morbid fascination with mortality, or because of news stories like Sophie Kinsella’s (my favorite chick-lit author) untimely death (not that there is ever a timely death), I can hear the universe whispering a “Hurry up, what are you waiting for?” in my ear. It helps put life in perspective. I’m clearer now about what matters and what doesn’t. And when I catch myself spending time on the latter, I feel far less FOMO about setting it aside.
Take chances
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity. Christopher Morley
The piece of Morley’s advice I’m leaning into most is the one about doing things others might find too silly. Taking chances when I don’t know if I’ll fly or fall is uncomfortable, ego-bruising, and completely freeing, and, unexpectedly, a lot of fun. I highly recommend stepping outside unanimity.
Life is too important to be taken seriously. Oscar Wilde